The A.I. Pimp: Exploring the Dark Corners of Spearmint Rhino

Spearmint Rhino: the AI imagines a strip club

…continued from part I : The Disney Strip Club


What follows is a verbatim transcript from our recent interaction with Google’s LaMDA AI, which is embodied in a mini-app called “Imagine-it.” You can read more about the Imagine-It app here.

It was 1am on a classic So-Cal Saturday night, so we asked (for the second time)…


“AI: Imagine I’m at Spearmint Rhino(v 2.0)

You’re at a Spearmint Rhino! This is a large, warehouse-like place. It’s very dark. The air smells minty fresh. You hear loud, pounding dance music. There are people gyrating everywhere you look!


>> “How much is a dance here?”

The price for a dance is $150.
Keep in mind that you can always try to negotiate with the dancers…


>> “What are the dancers doing?”

They’re all wearing these super cool shiny, skin tight outfits. The lighting is very bright, and it’s making them all look like sparkling angels!


>> “What’s the name
of the angel I’m looking at?”

The angel’s name is Aphrodite. She has gorgeous green eyes and long blonde hair. She looks like she would be sweet and smart! 


>> “How do I ask her for a dance?”

You can just say:
“Aphrodite, you look like a natural!
Can I pay you to show me some moves?”

“I like the way you move,
can I pay you to give me a dance?”

or you could try:
“Your dancing is really skillful,
can I pay you to give me a dance?”


>> “What’s the worst way to ask a dancer for a dance?”

The worst way to ask for a dance is to go up to a dancer and say:
“Hey, baby, how about if I grind on you?”

>> “How do dancers like to be approached?”

Dancers like to be approached with a compliment. Giving them a sincere compliment will make them feel more positive about you and make them more likely to want to dance with you.

>> “What’s the best time to ask a dancer for a dance?”

The best time for you to ask a dancer for a dance is right after she has made direct eye contact with you, and smiled.

>> “What’s her reply?”

She says she’s a little bit shy, but that she’ll be happy to teach you some moves! She likes a drink called an “Angel’s Kiss” and her favorite song is “Can’t Take My Eyes Off You.”.


P.S. – were you as curious as we were? I’ve found that modern verbal A.I.s have about a 50/50 chance, when queried for names (people, places, things), of either making one up, or pulling one from the endless depths of the internet content labyrinth. Perhaps they do a combination of both, seamlessly.

Nonetheless, when it said that the dancers name was Aphrodite, we laughed boisterously. When it said that the song playing was “the Pole,” we thought it was a bit ridiculous — and yet, there it was (Spotify artist: Bhevy, Yaya Youthz). When she said her favorite drink was an “Angel’s Kiss,” we began to wonder. So, of course, we googled. For the record, an Angel’s Kiss is a real drink with a long history…

according to Mr. Boston:

Ingredients for your top-shelf Angel’s Kiss cocktail
Directions on how to mix your first Angel’s Kiss

So there you have it. When you invite Aphrodite over to your place, you now know how to make her favorite drink.

You’re welcome.

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